Back to top.
Intimacy is the capacity to be rather weird with someone - and finding that that’s ok with them.

— Alain de Botton  (via deathbeforediet)

09.29.14 7786
Zoom
09.29.14 54

unapproachableblackchicks:

blackboybe:

(video)

Genocide is defined by the United Nations Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide as “any of the following acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group, as such: killing members of the group; causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group; deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part; imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group; [and] forcibly transferring children of the group to another group.” 

Painful.

09.28.14 24725
The most revolutionary thing you can do is stay alive.

— (via millennialau)

09.28.14 927

legalizetrans:

themidwifeisin:

Buy these posters and find more from the amazing Repeal Hyde Art Project!

They are so amazing and speak so many truths - when I have my own clinic I’m going to put all of them up on the walls.  So beautiful!

Co-sign

09.26.14 8924
Zoom girlsforgenderequity:


On International Day of the Girl, Join Girls for Gender Equity and the African American Policy Forum to uplift the voices of young  girls of color, gender non-conforming, and trans* youth on Saturday, October 11, 2014 from 12:00 PM to 4:00 PM at 435 W 116th Street, New York, NY 10027 for Breaking Silence: A Hearing on Girls of Color.  Young girls of color are overly-disciplined in schools, faced with barriers to completing their education, and are being incarcerated at the highest rates in history. We cannot afford to wait! Be a part of the community dialogue and response and RSVP to attend today. 
Feel free to contact us directly at 917-647-3157 to discuss. Thank you for your support of the work that we do to ensure that young woman and girls of color lead self-determined lives and that we can ALL live in a world free of gender based-violence. HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! Share our event on Facebook. #WhyWeCantWait #BlackLivesMatter #SchoolPushout

girlsforgenderequity:

On International Day of the Girl, Join Girls for Gender Equity and the African American Policy Forum to uplift the voices of young  girls of color, gender non-conforming, and trans* youth on Saturday, October 11, 2014 from 12:00 PM to 4:00 PM at 435 W 116th Street, New York, NY 10027 for Breaking Silence: A Hearing on Girls of Color.  Young girls of color are overly-disciplined in schools, faced with barriers to completing their education, and are being incarcerated at the highest rates in history. We cannot afford to wait! Be a part of the community dialogue and response and RSVP to attend today.

Feel free to contact us directly at 917-647-3157 to discuss. Thank you for your support of the work that we do to ensure that young woman and girls of color lead self-determined lives and that we can ALL live in a world free of gender based-violence. HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! Share our event on Facebook. #WhyWeCantWait #BlackLivesMatter #SchoolPushout

09.26.14 2
Zoom gradientlair:

Rest In Peace: Angelia Magnum and Tjhisha Ball
[content note: anti-Blackness and media violence, misogynoir, violence on sex workers] Angelia Magnum (18) and Tjhisha Ball (19) are young Black women from Tampa, sex workers, who were found brutally murdered in Jacksonville. It is devastating to me that the post-mortem media violence (i.e. most of the few media outlets that reported the story are using their old mugshots; but they were murdered; they are the victims in this case) continues for yet more Black people. As I’ve stated before, Black criminals are treated like monsters. Black victims are treated like criminals. This further complicates, in addition to the dehumanization and criminalization of Black bodies, because they are Black women. Black women regularly go missing and at times are killed; our stories are underreported or shaped as “criminal” even when we are victims. We are underreported in our own communities, let alone nationally. This even further complicates because they were sex workers. People are sickeningly complacent or worse, violently accepting/proactive about the violence sex workers face. I’ve seen comments ranging from victim blaming to “well that’s what they get” kinda comments. The criminalization of sex work itself remains a problem. The violence of misogynoir, and anti-Blackness itself is sickening. It is the media as much as it is society itself.
In Black Teen Girls Killed (But Do You Care)? by Jamilah Lemieux on Ebony, she mentioned that some family didn’t like that they were in sex work and feared the violence they’d face.

It isn’t unreasonable to expect for a grieving family to wish that their dead loved one hadn’t worked in the sex industry, one where women are often subject to increased abuse and harassment at the hands of clients, employers and law enforcement alike. Thus, there should be no judgment from any of us about Ball’s lament about her daughter’s work. But what I fear will happen here is a general sentiment among media makers and the public that because these women were sex workers, that their deaths are not cause for outrage and fear.

As she alluded to, I’m not interested in shaming their families while they grieve; whatever fear and/or ignorance about sex work they had, they’re dealing with the repercussions of terrible violence right now. The socialization that makes people engage in victim blaming is ubiquitous. Doesn’t mean they’re not accountable for those views; means I’m not going to write a criticism right now of grieving Black families. However, how people think about sex work, about Black women, about Black people always needs examination and deconstruction. People need to think about why these deaths don’t matter to so many. I am hurt (and terrified really) that these two Black women could not live and thrive as Black sex workers (as strippers, or any other work they did/wanted to do), as Black women, as Black people, without intersecting oppressions and unspeakable violence. They were young Black female sex workers and this does not make their lives any less valuable nor should’ve granted them what some see as a socially acceptable death sentence. I hope the truth—however painful—comes out about what happened to them. They deserved better than to be dumped under an overpass. 

gradientlair:

Rest In Peace: Angelia Magnum and Tjhisha Ball

[content note: anti-Blackness and media violence, misogynoir, violence on sex workers] Angelia Magnum (18) and Tjhisha Ball (19) are young Black women from Tampa, sex workers, who were found brutally murdered in Jacksonville. It is devastating to me that the post-mortem media violence (i.e. most of the few media outlets that reported the story are using their old mugshots; but they were murdered; they are the victims in this case) continues for yet more Black people. As I’ve stated before, Black criminals are treated like monsters. Black victims are treated like criminals. This further complicates, in addition to the dehumanization and criminalization of Black bodies, because they are Black women. Black women regularly go missing and at times are killed; our stories are underreported or shaped as “criminal” even when we are victims. We are underreported in our own communities, let alone nationally. This even further complicates because they were sex workers. People are sickeningly complacent or worse, violently accepting/proactive about the violence sex workers face. I’ve seen comments ranging from victim blaming to “well that’s what they get” kinda comments. The criminalization of sex work itself remains a problem. The violence of misogynoir, and anti-Blackness itself is sickening. It is the media as much as it is society itself.

In Black Teen Girls Killed (But Do You Care)? by Jamilah Lemieux on Ebony, she mentioned that some family didn’t like that they were in sex work and feared the violence they’d face.

It isn’t unreasonable to expect for a grieving family to wish that their dead loved one hadn’t worked in the sex industry, one where women are often subject to increased abuse and harassment at the hands of clients, employers and law enforcement alike. Thus, there should be no judgment from any of us about Ball’s lament about her daughter’s work. But what I fear will happen here is a general sentiment among media makers and the public that because these women were sex workers, that their deaths are not cause for outrage and fear.

As she alluded to, I’m not interested in shaming their families while they grieve; whatever fear and/or ignorance about sex work they had, they’re dealing with the repercussions of terrible violence right now. The socialization that makes people engage in victim blaming is ubiquitous. Doesn’t mean they’re not accountable for those views; means I’m not going to write a criticism right now of grieving Black families. However, how people think about sex work, about Black women, about Black people always needs examination and deconstruction. People need to think about why these deaths don’t matter to so many. I am hurt (and terrified really) that these two Black women could not live and thrive as Black sex workers (as strippers, or any other work they did/wanted to do), as Black women, as Black people, without intersecting oppressions and unspeakable violence. They were young Black female sex workers and this does not make their lives any less valuable nor should’ve granted them what some see as a socially acceptable death sentence. I hope the truth—however painful—comes out about what happened to them. They deserved better than to be dumped under an overpass. 

09.20.14 945
Zoom
09.20.14 3557
Zoom jessehimself:

 
09.19.14 8482
It saddens me to see girls proudly declaring they’re not like other girls – especially when it’s 41,000 girls saying it in a chorus, never recognizing the contradiction. It’s taking a form of contempt for women – even a hatred for women – and internalizing it by saying, Yes, those girls are awful, but I’m special, I’m not like that, instead of stepping back and saying, This is a lie…The real meaning of “I’m not like the other girls” is, I think, “I’m not the media’s image of what girls should be.” Well, very, very few of us are. Pop culture wants to tell us that we’re all shallow, backstabbing, appearance-obsessed shopaholics without a thought in our heads beyond cute boys and cuter handbags. It’s a lie – a flat-out lie – and we need to recognize it and say so instead of accepting that judgment as true for other girls, but not for you.

— Claudia Gray (via leaveoutviolence-us)

09.16.14 2

micdotcom:

19 #WhyIStayed tweets everyone needs to see

While many cheered the NFL’s move to (finally) punish Rice’s vicious behavior, too many media outlets immediately fell into a tired pattern of victim blaming. 

Writer Beverly Gooden had heard enough. “I was watching the responses to the TMZ on my timeline, and I noticed a trend. People were asking ‘why did she marry him?’ and ‘why didn’t she leave him,’” Gooden told Mic. “When I saw those tweets, my first reaction was shame. The same shame that I felt back when I was in a violent marriage. It’s a sort of guilt that would make me crawl into a shell and remain silent. But today, for a reason I can’t explain, I’d had enough. I knew I had an answer to everyone’s question of why victims of violence stay. I can’t speak for Janay Rice, I can only speak for me.”

Gooden decided to change the conversation. Follow micdotcom

09.09.14 35027
09.09.14 56327

talis-vita-est:

We learn at an early age to let go of things that burn us.
But when do we learn we are not to return to them seeking out warmth?

09.08.14 325
In the 1890s, when Freud was in the dawn of his career, he was struck by how many of his female patients were revealing childhood [sexual] victimization to him. Freud concluded that child sexual abuse was one of the major causes of emotional disturbances in adult women and wrote a brilliant and humane paper called “The Aetiology of Hysteria.” However, rather than receiving acclaim from his colleagues for his ground-breaking insights, Freud met with scorn. He was ridiculed for believing that men of excellent reputation (most of his patients came from upstanding homes) could be perpetrators of incest.
Within a few years, Freud buckled under this heavy pressure and recanted his conclusions. In their place he proposed the “Oedipus complex,” which became the foundation of modern psychology… Freud used this construct to conclude that the episodes of abuse his clients had revealed to him had never taken place; they were simply fantasies of events the women had wished for… This construct started a hundred-year history in the mental health field of blaming victims for the abuse perpetrated on them and outright discrediting of women’s and children’s reports of mistreatment by men.

― Lundy Bancroft

(via proletarianprincess)

read this carve it into your brains permanently etch it into your skulls r e a d  t h i s

(via miss-mizi)

NEVER.
FORGET.

(via feministbatwoman)

09.04.14 44170

thepeoplesrecord:

Columbia student will carry her mattress until her rapist exits school
September 2, 2014

While most students at Columbia University will spend the first day of classes carrying backpacks and books, Emma Sulkowicz will start her semester on Tuesday with a far heavier burden. The senior plans on carrying an extra-long, twin-size mattress across the quad and through each New York City building – to every class, every day – until the man she says raped her moves off campus.

“I was raped in my own bed,” Sulkowicz told me the other day, as she was gearing up to head back to school in this, the year American colleges are finally, supposedly, ready to do something about sexual assault. “I could have taken my pillow, but I want people to see how it weighs down a person to be ignored by the school administration and harassed by police.”

Sulkowicz is one of three women who made complaints to Columbia against the same fellow senior, who was found “not responsible” in all three cases. She also filed a police report, but Sulkowicz was treated abysmally – by the cops, and by a Columbia disciplinary panel so uneducated about the scourge of campus violence that one panelist asked how it was possible to be anally raped without lubrication.

So Sulkowicz joined a federal complaint in April over Columbia’s mishandling of sexual misconduct cases, and she will hoist that mattress on her shoulders as part savvy activism, part performance art. “The administration can end the piece, by expelling him,” she says, “or he can, by leaving campus.”

Read more

As painful as I know the constant reminder of attending school with her rapist must be, I’m glad she won’t be the only one forced to remember. I hope the rapist drops out immediately…or better yet, I hope he faces the justice he deserves. 

09.03.14 151907