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Zoom candacec1:

jordieh: cute
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Zoom Summary of my 20s so far…

Summary of my 20s so far…

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Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.

— Mister Rogers

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See maybe there was something wrong 
And you weren’t telling me no 
See maybe the laugh’s on me 
And life was telling me a joke

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I think you know I can’t always tell.  Can’t tell the difference between my instincts and my insecurities.  Don’t see the line between my paranoia and the pain you cause.

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Is it sad that my most validating experience of the day came from a buzzfeed quiz?

Which Black Best Friend From The ’90s Are You?

  1. You got: Lavender from “Matilda”

    You are quietly brilliant and always excel at everything you do. You may be introverted but you are very warm and generous and people naturally gravitate towards you. You are an extremely loyal friend with a passion that is rarely rewarded and always overlooked. 

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He loved her, of course, but better than that, he chose her, day after day. Choice: that was the thing.

Sherman Alexie, The Toughest Indian In The World

(via larmoyante)

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A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.

— from Zen Shin Talks  (via thatkindofwoman)

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I won’t… be afraid. No I won’t be afraid… just as long as you stand, stand by me.
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I want…more.
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The best engagement rings are the ones that hold significance. Japan-based Torafu Architects coated a ring in a thin layer of silver that rubs off over time to reveal an 18-karat, gold wedding band beneath. By wearing each ring, the time shared between two people can thus be physically seen, in order to remind them of how beautiful and strong long-lasting love can truly become as time passes.

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Emotion and expressing emotion are human traits. Don’t rob boys of their humanity. @zellieimani

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[content warning: rape, rape culture, misogyny, misogynoir, street harassment]

@Crommunist shared some really important tweets about this “men are hunters” crap that gets used to justify everything from street harassment to rape. I really appreciate his commentaries on rethinking masculinity outside of a patriarchal framework. Here he conveys how male self-hatred and devaluation in patriarchy is what would make such a description justifiable to a man. Clearly patriarchal thinking harms men as well; it justifies them dehumanizing themselves as an excuse to harm women and be oppressive.  

A Black woman and mutual follower on Twitter recently described a street harassment experience (and of course I can relate to this, as you know) and a Black man replied to her about men being “hunters” and that she shouldn’t take street harassment (at night no less) personal. What? 

See, the “hunter” thing is an especially dangerous perspective for Black men to take on. While doing so might make them feel like “peers” with patriarchal White men, because of racism and the history of dehumanization of Black men’s bodies and masculinity, the “hunter” thing simply becomes the “brute” controlling image type. And despite the fact that White men basically sexually assault White women with impunity, Black men still remain the face of the rapist in society while the face of the victim/survivor is always a White woman. Nevermind that the actual reality of violence that Black men inflict on Black women is erased by the aforementioned racist conception or that with the exception of Native women (who White men primarily rape, in addition to White women), most rape occurs intraracially anyway.

Men who ascribe to this cruel dehumanization of themselves to justify violence against women as “natural” need to think about why they think this is okay. They say this so effortlessly which of course reveals patriarchal socialization. It doesn’t get any easier to hear and worse is when they say it while women are recounting street harassment/sexual assault experiences and seeking support among other women online. Derailing women speaking about abuse to justify the abuse in any way is also abuse.

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